Thursday, August 04, 2005

Hopelessly Devoted

While I may never be able to fully explain the title of this blog (um, I I caffinate therefore I am?), I can give you some insight into why I chose NYOne as my "handle". And yes, "Convoy" or some other such walkie-talkie-themed 70's novelty song should be playing in your head right now.
Back in the days of Jersey City [shudder] we had no NY 1. We relied on CNN Headline News for news blurbs shorter than most car commercials (ADD-the chicken or the egg?). Oh sure, the news was all "important" and "worldly" but frankly most of it took place too far away for me to really care. But then we moved to the isle-an of Manhatt and lo and behold there it was. NY 1. News so local, they literally have a segment just for "The World Beyond New York". Please, as if such a thing existed. There is no news beyond the West Side Stadium, the Democratic mayoral primary race or social promotion in public schools! But I'm off topic. The real, true and only important reason I love NY 1 is:
Pat Kiernan, Dreamboat Canadian Anchor.
Pat Kiernan's humor is drier than Bob Newport at the Sands. Sometimes, you're not really sure if he's making fun of someone or not. Chances are, he is. Especially if it's the Jerry Lewis to his Deano, Roger Clark. But Pat also works solo, too. Nowhere does he shine brighter than "In the Papers", the segment where he holds up today's Post or Times and points out articles of interest. It comes on at :42 after the hour. Sure, he hits the major headlines and likes playing up the feud between the Post and the Daily News, especially over Scratch-N-Match-gate. (Sorry no link; the articles are too old). I also saw him almost lose it one day when Lindsay Lohan was mentioned 4 times in 3 consecutive pages of the Post. He had little post-its on the page margins and it was the cutest fit of righteous indignation I've seen since, well, Summer this entire past season on the O.C. But the greatest moment in the history of local news morning shows came when, in reference to what article I have no recollection, Pat Kiernan started singing "Stranded at the Drive-In" from Grease. Squee! If you have never heard Pat speak in his rather stenorian tones, you might not understand just how amazing it was to hear him burst into song. Ok, "burst" may be too strong of a word to describe Pat's style; it was more of a jazzy riff.
He'll be on vacay next week (NO, I am not a stalker, he mentioned it during a recap of an editorial about LaGuardia airport) so Kristen Shaugnessey, aka White Bread Wondermuffin, will probably be filling in the morning anchor slot. Skip it. Wait for Pat to return and then watch, with the volume up a notch to catch the little grumblings and asides he throws in. You too, will come to know and love Pat Kiernan, DCA, as I have.

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