What is so wrong with medium? Why are there no reasonably sized coffee beverages available outside of a $4 latte? I don't want the 8 oz dinky cup that will be gone before I even get back to my office; nor do I need a French Vanilla Big Gulp. Normally, I will admit, I am a fan of the wee. I like tiny, bite-sized, kiddie portions of everything from steak to cheesecake. But sometimes you want to upgrade to the not-so-wee. Unfortunately that was not an option and now, as you may well imagine, I am sitting with a FRIGGIN' HUGE cup of joe on my desk. Not a cup of Joe, either. That would merit FH.
I also hate it when pizza places have only medium and large. No, that means you have small and large - medium is a strictly relative term requiring bookended modifiers for definition. There is no Jan without Cindy.