From the Archives

April 19, 2006:

AI was surprisingly good! Chris did better than I expected him to, especially with a really overdone song. Not a huge fan of Ace with the ponytail, but I thought he sounded good. For him. I will be sad to see him go when he does, but he’s definitely the weakest vocally. Elliot is just too weird looking. He makes the most uncomfortable faces, with his eyes all bugged out. I totally agreed with Simon’s assessment that personality is a big factor tonight. Basically, these are really romantic songs and Elliot just can’t sell romance. Kellie, poor, stupid Kellie. It started out ok and just got worse as she went on. She had some really, truly pretty notes and some really wonky ones as well. I still don’t see her going home. They have sold her so hard and I'm guessing she has a solid fanbase as a result. Taylor was unremarkable, totally meh. I hope he’ll be in the bottom three with Elliot and either Ace or Kellie. My prediction to go home is Elliot. I sense that he’s like VM in a way – a fiercely loyal but unfortunately tiny fanbase. Anyone else notice that Simon has a total hard-on for Kellie, but he resists pimping her too much lest people believe she is totally safe? All of the Grassy Knoll theories on the AI boards are hilarious, because no matter what happens, someone has an explanation for how TPTB are working to guarantee a victory for TCO. Except no one can really agree on who TCO is. I guess the general consensus is that it’s Chris, b/c they want a white male to win this time and he’s pretty sellable. But some people will say it’s Kat or Kellie and then explain how praising/criticizing other contestants plays into the conspiracy. While I stand by my belief that they manipulate the bottom 3, except for the actual lowest-vote-getter and I certainly see them favoring certain people with loads of screen time (i.e. Kellie) I don’t think it’s quite the vast plot some make it out to be. First of all, there are laws against rigging game/reality shows, so they can’t legally boot off someone they don’t want to win. Secondly, given the paltry record sales of every winner except for Kelly, I think they realize the money is in making the show interesting. Lastly, in this day and age of spoilers and the internet, details of something that orchestrated and involved would leak faster than Grace’s water bra.

as promised

Chris R is like that one friend of your boyfriend (read: Blake) who you can’t stand. Eventually, he wears you down to the point of tolerance, and occasionally forgetting why you ever hated him in the first place. Then he gets way too drunk, per usz, at a party and it all comes rushing back. You’re not surprised at his obnoxious behavior, but you are a little mad at yourself for being so generous in your earlier assessment. And then, just when your opinion of him is its nadir, he goes and hits on your younger cousin.
Happily, your boyfriend chooses this opportunity to sing pretty much your favorite song ever to enter the orbit of Country Night on American Idol, so all is forgiven. Seriously, when I heard that Blake was doing “When the Stars Go Blue”, I gasped so loud that I hiccupped. Sure, the vocal wasn’t awesome, but an argyle sweater vest goes a long way towards making everything wonderful.

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In other news, I caught Grey Gardens on Broadway last night. Good news: I had bitchin' seats that were free. Bad news: zzzzzzz. Christine Ebersole is great, I guess...Matt Cavenaugh is still wicked hot...and that wraps up today's portion of Broadway Theatre Performance Dramatical Review. Tune in next week* for my stirring critique of two shows sure be duking it out for Best Revival: Chorus Line and Company. Dancers who can't really sing vs. Singers/musicians who can't really act. Tough call!



*not really. Well, please do tune in, but not for that specific topic.

Nasally is a form of singing

And dickweed is a common species of reality-show contestant. More on Chris R to come.